The sands of time bury pictures on Facebook until they are so far under the surface that we hardly remember their existence. A few days ago, I was scrolling through some of my forgotten treasures.
As I clicked from one picture to the next, I found myself uttering noises like, “Awwwww!!!” or “Heyyyyy!!!” Each image captured a special moment in time. I was moved as I watched how much my kids have grown, how my hair hasn’t and all the adventures we have shared over the last decade or so.
In a particularly nostalgic moment, I came across a picture of my wife and me on a vacation. Since she happened to be sitting on the couch next to me, I pointed to the picture and said, “Look how happy we are!” Joy filled my soul, simply looking at the snapshot.
In response, my wife turned to me and said, “Is that all you remember about that trip?” It was like one of those scenes in a movie when that record scratching sound gets played. All of the sudden I was knocked off the 30,000 foot cloud I was riding on.
My mind was whisked away to a rather lengthy and passionate “discussion” we had on that very same trip. Even though it wasn’t our biggest fight, I remember it well. It encapsulated a lot of the frustration and feelings we have experienced over the years. In an instant, that very same picture that brought me a sense of peace and happiness, delivered feelings of discomfort and angst. Did that negate the joy we truly were experiencing the moment? No, but it didn’t represent every part of us either.
It has been said that “A picture says a thousand words” but I would suggest that those words aren’t always the whole truth.
When I am scrolling through a newsfeed…Yes, even my own! I can assume I know the entire story behind the picture that I am seeing. Rarely, is reality the same as that image.
I think of all the family pictures we took with wiggly, whinny kids (and parents for that matter). Sometimes it seemed like it took 50 or 60 photos to get ONE that looked halfway decent. Some of the truly “high” moments in life were also accompanied by “lows”.
This doesn’t mean the beauty of those magical moments isn’t authentic but it puts things in perspective. For someone so quick to see everything as, “all good” or “all bad” I need the reminder that things aren’t always that clear-cut. The boxes I create to put myself at ease are often crafted for my comfort rather than seeing reality.
Holding joy and sorrow in tension is one of the most difficult aspects to maturity. Yet it is essential if I want to see the world (and myself) accurately. It also helps when you are scrolling through your newsfeed.